walk on by

i'm sitting in the church street cafe. tired from walking all the way from 24th and Valencia, but excited about new purchases. ha! superficiality doesn't go away after turning 30, let me tell you! but a new wardrobe is part of my reinvention project so it has some meaning beyond meaningless shopping. and can we really escape consumerism in 2009? i don't think so, mama. but back to the cafe and more importantly, this neighborhood. this neighborhood is like flashback city, honey. there's that i guy i always see on campus with the big purse and for some reason is always giving me shade or thats what it feels like. he's looking at porn on his laptop right now. is that straight porn? i can't make it out from here. but watching the people go by on the street is much more interesting anyway. i'm drinking my coffee. the old ladies next my are talking about the word "mama" and its universality. i'm looking out the big windows. i feel okay. and then and then and then. there he is walking by. my ex-boyfriend. the one that i haven't seen in three years. the last time i saw i slammed the door in his face with a cigarette hanging out my mouth. that was when i lived in that crappy apartment on market street and had that horrible job and was still going to city college. i mouth the words oh my god. i laugh. there he is just like that. i don't feel anything but oh my god. he looks the same. same black hoodie. walking with a forty-ish white guy which is good because i have no pangs of jealousy. and then he's gone. oh my god. and then there's ron walking by and that guy that i almost had sex with on sixteen different occasions at blow buddies. i just couldn't decide. and then that other guy. i've got to get out of this neighborhood. where's that 22 Fillmore?